Bài mẫu IELTS Writing task 1 - chữa đề thi thật IELTS ngày 15/4/2023 tại BC VTED Khúc Thừa Dụ về quy trình sản xuất 5 loại trà.

The diagram shows how tea leaves are processed into five tea types. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram shows how tea leaves are processed into five tea types
Dưới đây là dàn ý tham khảo cho đề bài trên:
The diagram shows the process of producing five types of tea: white, green, oolong, large leaf black, and small leaf black teas.
Overall, the procedure involves seven main stages, beginning with leaf growth and concluding with open drying. While some stages are the same for all teas, differences in the middle stages result in five unique tea varieties.
The process starts with the growth of tea leaves, which are then plucked and withered to make them softer. These steps are common for all tea types. At the end, all teas are dried openly to finalize their production.
In the intermediate stages, the methods vary. After withering, green tea is steamed and rolled but not fermented. White tea, however, skips these steps entirely. Meanwhile, oolong and large leaf black teas are rolled and fermented—slightly for oolong and fully for large leaf black tea. Small leaf black tea is different as it is crushed instead of rolled, before being fully fermented.
(160 words)
Từ vựng/Collocation hữu ích:
The diagram illustrates the procedure for transforming tea leaves into five distinct varieties: white, green, oolong, large leaf black, and small leaf black teas.
Overall, the process comprises seven key stages, commencing with leaf growth and culminating in open drying. While the initial and final stages are uniform across all tea types, variations in the intermediate steps account for the diversity of the final products.
The process commences with the cultivation of tea leaves, followed by plucking and withering to enhance their pliability, a sequence applied consistently to all varieties. Ultimately, all teas undergo open drying to complete their preparation, ensuring they are ready for consumption.
In contrast, the intermediate stages diverge significantly. Post-withering, green tea is steamed and rolled to preserve its natural color, yet it undergoes no fermentation. White tea, however, bypasses these steps entirely. Conversely, oolong and large leaf black teas are rolled and fermented—oolong slightly, while large leaf black tea fully. Distinctively, small leaf black tea is crushed rather than rolled, before being fully fermented, setting it apart from the others.
(176 words)
Từ vựng/Collocation hữu ích:
The diagram presents the manufacture of five different types of tea. It is immediately apparent that although all the teas are produced from the same leaf, the differences in the manufacturing process result in five different types of tea.
The first three stages of manufacture are the same for all of the five teas. The leaves are grown, they are then plucked, and following this withering of the leaves occures. The final stage is also the same, which sees all the leaves dried in an oven. However, in the stages in between this, differing methods of production are employed.
To begin, white tea is unique as it involves no other processing. In contrast, green, oolong and large leaf black tea are all rolled as part of the process. However, while green tea is steamed before being rolled but is not fermented, the other two teas are first rolled and then both fermented (oolong only slightly but large leaf black completely). Finally, small leaf black tea is neither steamed nor rolled, but is crushed before being fully fermented.
(177 Words)
Nhận xét về bài viết:
Bài mẫu trên đã mô tả các đặc điểm quan trọng của diagram quy trình sản xuất 5 loại trà. Bên cạnh việc nói về từng loại trà, bài viết còn nhóm các quy trình sản xuất tương tự nhau và xác định sự khác biệt. Ví dụ:
Sự giống nhau:
The first three stages of manufacture are the same for all of the five teas.
…green, oolong and large leaf black tea are all rolled as part of the process.
Sự khác biệt:
…white tea is unique as it involves no other processing.
However, while green tea is steamed before being rolled but is not fermented, the other two teas are first rolled and then both fermented.
Chúng ta có thể nói về 3 giai đoạn đầu tiên và giai đoạn cuối cùng trong 1 đoạn văn vì chúng hoàn toàn giống nhau với mọi loại trà. Và các giai đoạn khác nhau là các quy trình ở giữa. Có vẻ hơi lạ nếu bạn viết về quy trình theo thứ tự này nhưng đừng lo lắng nhé, sau đó bạn có thể tập trung vào sự khác biệt ở đoạn văn khác.
Khi mô tả quy trình sản xuất các loại trà này, chúng ta dùng Passive (bị động), và không cần quan tâm về việc ai/thực thể nào đang thực hiện chúng. Chúng ta có thể thấy thể bị động được sử dụng trong bài viết trên:
...the teas are produced from the same leaf
The leaves are grown, they are then plucked
...differing methods of production are employed
Và hãy cố gắng sử dụng từ đồng nghĩa để bài viết đạt điểm cao hơn nhé. Ví dụ chúng ta có thể dùng “completely” hay vì “fully”. Bên cạnh đó, đảm bảo rằng bạn sử dụng các từ chỉ thời gian một cách hợp lý:
…they are then plucked, and following this withering of the leaves occures.
…the other two teas are first rolled and then both fermented
Bài viết cũng sử dụng được các cấu trúc phức tạp để đạt trên band 6 cho tiêu chí grammatical range and accuracy:
Mệnh đề quan hệ:
It is immediately apparent that although all the teas are produced from the same leaf...
The final stage is also the same, which sees all the leaves dried in an oven.
Mệnh đề trạng ngữ:
…although all the teas are produced from the same leaf
…white tea is unique as it involves no other processing.
…while green tea is steamed before being rolled but is not fermented,
